First, if you are blaming yourself for starting to use drugs, for being unable or unwilling to stop using drugs and for relapsing every time you quit, you are both right and wrong.
It is your fault, but it is NOT a matter of blame.
Blame is a waste of time and energy. If you blame yourself, what does that accomplish? Nothing. It makes you feel like an idiot and, really, you didn’t try to make yourself into an addicted person.
If you did, if you started right from the beginning of your drug use with the intention to become an addict, okay. Then you can blame yourself, and you can stop reading this right now. I have nothing to say that can help you.
But if you are like every addict I’ve ever known, then you never actually wanted to become a drug addict. So knock off the blaming!
Next, ask yourself this question, “Who is responsible for my life?” Be honest on this, if your snap answer was “I am!” not so fast. Are you really calling the shots in your life? Is it you or someone else who decides what you are going to do today? Is the position you are in right now the result of your actions? Or are you the victim of someone else’s actions?
If you said someone else did it, you are blaming again. But more than that, you are giving your power away! Power is all about responsibility. It is having the strength to do something and stand there and say, “Yep, I did that!” If it was a constructive action, you get the credit. If it was a screw-up, take the consequences…they are yours.
If you have messed up in your life, particularly with drugs, no one else can fix it for you; you have to fix it yourself. And really, that is a damned good thing. If your life depended entirely on others, you’d be a slave.
Finally, move with a purpose to correct what is wrong in your life. If you are still doing drugs after trying to stop a few times, chances are you were missing all three of these points, but especially this third one. You need to get serious about your recovery and that means doing whatever it takes to put addiction behind you.
You may need to go to treatment in a real, drug-free, detox rehab facility. If that is what it takes, then just do it. Don’t think about the money it costs, you are losing more than that every few months by being a druggie, and the problem is still there!
I have even had people tell me they wouldn’t go to a detox rehab because it was embarrassing. Wow. And being a drug addict was dignified? Get real and get serious about your recovery. It is funny; I have been off drugs for 34 years. I was addicted to speed and quit in the ‘70s. Whenever I tell people that I went to a Narconon center and beat my drug addiction I get nothing but respect. No embarrassment at all.
So, how you get off drugs is up to you, but these three points will be built into any successful recovery:
1. Stop the blaming yourself or others
2. Take responsibility for yourself and your actions
3. Get serious and do what is necessary to get clean
Not surprisingly, a REAL drug detox rehab program will teach the addict how to live a life that incorporates these very, very essential points. Without any one of these three factors fully understood and followed, recovery will be five times as difficult and the probability of long term success will be small.